Anger Management and Safety

Photo Courtesy of Life in the Village.

I'm a domestic violence volunteer and I work mainly with children when I'm not on the clock. Before I left to spend time with the children, I found out some disturbing news about a couple of rapes and murders.

With very limited TV, I manage (almost 100% of the time) to find out about news reports at the last minute. With the crimes that happened not too ago in my area, I talked to my youth advocate about what happened. I would list the links of what happened, the location, and morph into my hard news persona, but sadly, she told me that there were very little reports about these crimes. My boss told me about the incidents but they were brief stints on the evening and morning news. What else could be more important than the safety of people, especially young women?

It's bad enough that these crimes are happening and worse that no one has said anything. All the while some sinister mystique keeps clouding the minds of earthly citizens (or should I say worldly beings?).

I've learned a lot about myself since being on my own and one of my issues that I have been battling with is control. I wouldn't call it a problem with authority or anything, but ever since I was precocious little heifer I have always had a problem with teachers and peers telling me what I am and what I am not. I never understood how someone could think he or she could control how I was feeling at a certain moment. Control is one of the most beautiful inconveniences in life. God granted us the power over ourselves for free (beautiful) and we humans put a price tag and limits on it (inconvenient). Maybe this is one of reasons why I feel the way I do about DV and abuse.

I don't think it's right, fair, logical, convenient, beneficial, productive, or congenial that I should have to fight.
Every day.

I'm fighting for my rights as a human being as a woman. A Black woman. One of my former co-workers had the nerve to actually tell me,

"Wait, I thought Black women were always having sex." What? Are you on crack?

Though I realize now that her comment was based on pure ignorance from her limited mindset, it took ever fiber to control the stupid I wanted to smack out of her. Ignorance causes people to do and say stupid things besides that comment. It's sadly the same with DV. A person (usually a man) feels he has no control over his life or situation, so he goes to find a target (usually a female) to control.

When it all comes down to it, this is how I feel:

  • You can control your appetite
  • You can control you alcohol intake (hopefully)
  • You can control how much TV you watch
  • You can NOT control another human being



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